Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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