she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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