you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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