READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
