we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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