I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
