If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
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you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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