hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
