Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We were destined to go to rehab together
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
