I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
