my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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