Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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