dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
