i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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