FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
