woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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