i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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