i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
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I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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