I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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