having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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