I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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