the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen