can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There r osticjed everywhere
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.