Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..

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  (651): You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold.. http://tfl.nu/rd4a
  Replies (18) Good night (5671) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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  (916): do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won? http://tfl.nu/7jg6
  Replies (29) Good night (1810) Bad night (3403) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.

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  (505): i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat. http://tfl.nu/gqde
  Replies (96) Good night (1463) Bad night (7531) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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  (757): tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning? http://tfl.nu/fo3m
  Replies (24) Good night (5187) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"

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  (603): she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer" http://tfl.nu/7wxh
  Replies (51) Good night (1089) Bad night (4031) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

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  (480): Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back? http://tfl.nu/wmx0
  Replies (66) Good night (1850) Bad night (3315) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.

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  (432): His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex. http://tfl.nu/07s4
  Replies (9) Good night (3434) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.

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  (570): do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome. http://tfl.nu/5az6
  Replies (5) Good night (5078) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.

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  (405): I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine. http://tfl.nu/ew02
  Replies (8) Good night (3141) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.

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  (309): This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend. http://tfl.nu/skkm
  Replies (9) Good night (1681) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way

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  (646): if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way http://tfl.nu/3nwb
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.

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  (347): He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka. http://tfl.nu/57bc
  Replies (3) Good night (1627) Bad night (473)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.

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  (206): What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again? (425): Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing. http://tfl.nu/l4cd
  Replies (11) Good night (4434) Bad night (551)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.

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  (240): YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN. http://tfl.nu/d5pr
  Replies (12) Good night (2312) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.

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  (647): One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/axc4
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (238)

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