Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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