Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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