y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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