She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
