His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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