There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
is it fun? or sober?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
