yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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