Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
