So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
