dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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