Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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