i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
