Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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