That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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