I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My vagina is officially offended.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize