oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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