he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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