as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
