They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
