your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
grandma shit on top of the toilet
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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