Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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