I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
