dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
