dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
