and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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