??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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