on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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