I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
