I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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