i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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