I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
