Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
