They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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