Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
