There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Randomize
