i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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