Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
