Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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