Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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