Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize