It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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